Monday, June 26, 1944

I’ve never woken up feeling so sure about a decision. In bed last night, I had thought about Olivia – quite a lot. The problem was that all this time I’ve been thinking about how I felt about this arrangement but never did it occur to me that I am not the only one involved in this situation. There is another person who also had feelings and opinions of her own. I do not know her now or her exact feelings about this but thinking from her perspective may have been the sign I’ve been praying for all week long. I am no knight in shining armor or a champion who saves her from all her troubles but I do feel this was given to me because I can do something about it.

I am never the person who puts everything to chance. My way of life requires that I plan for the future and prepare for any curveball that may come my way, of course not without plenty of prayers as well. However, these past few years, we’ve been plagued by death in the family. It’s something you cannot predict nor plan for. It’s devastating and confining that at times you feel the light will never come back to your world. I think it’s time to breathe some life back to it. The baby needs a family when it enters this world, I believe it should be given a chance for a promising beginning and a happy future.

As for Olivia, it’s difficult not to paint a picture of how she will be as my wife but I cannot help wonder at times. I try not to expect too much. I attempt not to dwell with the fact that she was slighted by the fellow who put her in her current situation. I may never know the reason but I hope to God that we’ll both strive to make it work between us. I am in this for the long haul for I know now it is God’s will. Just the reality that we somehow were arranged to cross paths notwithstanding our distances and our way of lives are already short of a miracle on its own. It is also encouraging to note that even at this time before we even meet, we already have something in common in that we both lost someone very dear to our hearts. That alone is the sign that is worth making this positive decision.

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After working in the fields today I drove to town and met with Reverend Case after supper. I wanted to save him the trip to my farm tomorrow to accept his proposal. This way, he wouldn’t feel like he had pressured me into agreeing to a favor but that I have come to it on my own accord. He was very pleased and so was Mrs. Case. She couldn’t stop smiling. They offered that I stay for supper but I declined. I am glad that everything is moving forward now. I stopped by Martha’s on my way home to tell them the news. Olivia is coming in three weeks’ time, I have so much to do to prepare for her arrival.