Tuesday, June 27, 1944

Even before I had expressed my consent to Reverend Case and during the week that I was contemplating the proposal, my mind had been making a mental list of things I needed to do in preparation for Olivia’s arrival. It seems that subconsciously I had already known in my heart that I will accept such an arrangement even before my mind had made rational thoughts and laid out an explanation of what I am about to embark on.

Yesterday when I came back from Martha’s I had sat down and started to put down the things I had thought that needed attention in the few weeks to come. First off my list is to install hot and cold water inside the house. I’ve never minded this type of amenity when I lived on my own but thinking how Olivia might take the lack of what may be a city-bred necessity may also not bode well for a pleasant start to our married life. I’d have to make another trip to town to get the materials for this project. I went upstairs to the bathroom and surveyed the walls and planned for the improvement. I am glad that when Hank had installed theirs a few years back, I had learned what needs to be done to accomplish this task. It is also a big help that we have indoor plumbing to begin with and I figured this will probably take me a week to do considering the amount of work I have in the farm as well.

I went from room to room to inspect what needs to be done in each one. I have not made any changes to the house. This house pretty much is still my parents’ house, everything and anything in it are still where they have left them. I’ve not bothered to move or store anything of theirs nor Daniel’s, the presence of such material things belonging to them gives me an inner assurance that they are here with me even if they’ve gone on to the next life. It also gives me some kind of normalcy amidst their absence and it’s a constant reminder of their existence and love for the farm and family.

Downstairs, I really do not need to do much. I doubt that I can put fresh paint on the walls. I am sure my laundry list will not allow me to have the time to do that. I’ll probably just be able to give it a good wipe down to make them less worn looking. Indeed now that I actually looked, I’ve noticed that I’ve neglected the state of the house for years.

My work at the farm is quite tedious and coming home to an empty house does not encourage me to be bothered with cleaning on a regular basis. Besides, how much mess can one person do to a house anyway? Well now, I realized that I have turned a blind eye to domesticity all this time, now that I’ve appraised the condition did I realize how badly the house needed some care. It’s good that I am getting married for the house really needs a woman’s touch to it.

I went out to the front porch and saw the sad state of what used to be my mother’s flower bed. It’s overgrown with weeds, grass and dried plants and the soil is in need of watering. I shook my head and thought –“So you call yourself a farmer, Ray?”

The list is still growing. I am glad I have workers to help me at the farm. I am indeed blessed with an able foreman this year that I rarely have to supervise or watch their progress. I have learned to respect the Japanese group of men and women who come to the farm to help. They are not only hard working people but also possess a very strong work ethic inspite of their condition caused by the war.

Tonight I can’t help but create a mental picture of how Olivia would look like and how she would belong in this house. I’ve pictured her homely but smiling and good at cooking and keeping the house. I hope being a Reverend’s daughter would also indicate that she have a strong faith in the success of our marriage. I am quite afraid of what’s ahead for us but at the same time I can’t help but feel some anticipation in my heart.